Practice Practice Practice
People have told me practice makes perfect my whole life and I’ve, for the most part, believed them – but no more. No, it doesn’t matter how many first dates I go on, I’m never going to be perfect at it. I don’t know where general awkwardness fits in the nature vs. nurture discussion so I’m not sure if I can blame my parents or not. I could have inherited it through my genes, but I don’t know which parent I would have inherited it from, since they both seem perfectly fine with meeting people and conversing.
My most recent experience wasn’t really that bad I guess. I have learned from some previous mistakes and therefore avoided talking about poo for 30 minutes. Yes, this time I’m sure the poo conversation didn’t last any longer than five minutes. IMPROVEMENT – but not perfection. The fact is I’m not sure how poo comes up in so many conversations with practical strangers, since if I’m not on a date I hardly ever talk about it with strangers or friends. I suppose there are worse things I could talk about… politics…, past relationships…, tampons…, the very scary marriage discussion while tearfully bearing your testimony. Really I guess a little poo isn’t all that bad.
The worst part for me is, of course, the last 5-10 minutes when I have to get out of the car, walk to the door, and stand around trying to make conversation till we have the awkward hug and part ways. I barely touch people I do know, but I certainly don’t like touching people I don’t know. That’s one of my main objections to dancing – waddling around with some random person with your faces only a foot and a half apart at the most, sometimes even less! How uncomfortable! In fact, since I don’t dance often I was going to check that distance with a coworker of mine, but was uncomfortable at the thought of being that close with even someone I know pretty well and decided just to make up numbers for distance that sounded legitimate.
In the end, I know deep in my heart that I will never be GOOD at first dates. Maybe it is just unnatural for me to interact with humans on the first go round. I need at least three or eight or twelve shots.