I know females are supposed to "glisten" when they exercise or something
like that, but I start sweating by jumping-jack number four. After I’ve
finished at the gym, drenched in sweat and tired, I sit down to stretch.
I can’t help but think that while I’ve never been in a Viking ship
(it’s on my list of things to think about doing before I die), my
general odor is reminiscent of 48 sweaty men rowing at the oars in the
bowels of a ship – sweat pouring from their faces, all cramped together in the tight quarters of the underbelly, the stench heavy in the air with nowhere else to go. That's me after a real workout. The question is, if the results are so disgusting, why do I keep going? I have no answer, I just like it. I guess I'm weird that way.
Unfortunatley for me I was caught on fire, doused with strange chemicals, and dumped into the Louisiana swamps by the evil Dr. Anton Arcane, but then my body mutated. No longer am I human, or even an animal. My body is now made from the muck and plants of the swamp. I'm super strong and can make plants do my bidding. Oh, the joys of things in the swamp.